Yule Tide Cheers

I was telling my friend Brandon on his blog about Bartleby/Brandon the Scribner that I've been feeling very "Kafka-esque." I've been doing fairly well academically and professionally. I'm caught up on all of my grading in my four classes, I think my students actually learned something this semester (well, those who showed up), and I'm moving right along on my dissertation (Chapter 4 is at 30 pages and I should have it completed by the end of the month).

Still, I can't shake this nagging feeling that I'm a complete and total failure. I leave class questioning everything I said. I think all my students hate me (which some of them probably really do). And, well, my dissertation is a whole lotta damn work.Am I just ready for the holidays? Feeling overwhelmed and overweight? Or, am I just going through a funk?

Here's what I do know though:

1. That the lady at Weight Watchers last week who whispered with scorn and judgment that I've "gained a couple pounds" can just suck it.

2. That my student who stormed out during class after receiving his Dismal grade on his dismal major rearch paper can just suck it.

3. That my boyfriend, who's been a royal pain in the ass while trying to get his paper written for Visual Rhetoric, can just suck it.

4. That the frozen cookie dough in my freezer that is tempting me at every juncture can just suck it.

5. That my student in the Spain class who did nothing all semester for her group project and then emailed me a nasty message when I reported her inepititude can just suck it.

6. That the Christmas shoppers who fight over the parking spot 10 feet closer to the mall entrance can just suck it.

7. And, that Long John Silvers--and all it's yummy, greasy, crispy goodness--can just suck it.

Bah humbug.