My Dissertation Schedule

Okay, Friends. I need help.

I'm presenting for you my schedule to get this dissertation done by the end of the Spring semester. So far, I have about 1/3 of Chapter 1 written and most of Chapters 3 and 4 completed. That's about 100 pages, so far. And, T has said that the 100 pages I've written so far is really good, solid stuff. So, I'm feeling pretty good about the (hopefully, minimum) revisions that will be required later.

However, I need timelines, deadlines, and schedules. I'm a bit type A, if you haven't ever noticed.

So, here is my schedule for the next four months:

Now -- End of January: Finish first 1/3 of Chapter 1 (almost there)
Feb 1 - 15: Finish 2nd third of Chapter 1
Feb 15 - 28: Finish final 3rd of Chapter 1
Mar 1 - 20: Finish up Chapters 3 and 4 (almost there)
Mar 21 - 31: Finish Chapter 2 (Methodology)
April 1 - 30: Write Chapter 5 (Conclusion (haven't started))
May 1st: Turn in complete dissertation to T (YEA!!)

(And, fingers crossed)
late May - early June: To committee members
late June: Defend!!
July 10th: Dissertation to Grad Office
August: GRADUATE

(Worst case scenario, I defend in August/September and graduate in December. Not the plan but wouldn't be the worst thing to happen.)

Now, what I need from YOU!! I need you to be my pain-in-my-ass. I need you to ask me every time you see me, notice I'm online, comment on my facebook, and run into my on campus: "How much have you written today?!?" I need you to hound me so that I begin to hate you and everyone who looks like you. That's your job. Forget your other jobs. Your new assignment is to help me get this done. Got it?

My little snot...

My latest installment in Adventures in Autism...

So, last night before bed, I walk/stumble/crawl into the bathroom to find it completely covered in water. Water on the floor, on the toilet, on the laboratory. The water on the floor had to be at least a good 1/2 in high. I sighed, cleaned up the water, and went to sleep. I just couldn't manage to care in my exhaustion.

But, I woke up at 2 a.m. a bit cold so I stumbled over to the closet to get a blanket. Except that they were all wet. Apparently, Tobey tried to clean up the water in the bathroom with 4-5 bath towels. However, rather than putting the towels in the laundry room, he put them back into the closet. On top of my blankets. Soaking wet.

Whatever. I'm too tired to care. I turn up the heat and just go back to bed. Jet lag still sucks.

This morning, I wake up to get ready for work. Workout. Shower. Get lunches made and boys off to school. And, when I went into the bathroom to fix my hair and put some make up on, I pull open the laboratory drawer in the bathroom to find it completely flooded. My make up. Toothbrushes. Cotton swabs. Best of all, two small, plastic figurines of Wawa Woobzy floating in a 2 inch pool of water next to my eyeliner. The little snot turned my drawer into a swimming pool. Needless to say, Momma was not looking too cute this morning before stopping off at Walgreens.

[sighs and pounds head on the desk]

New Year's Financial Resolutions...

Each new year, I tend to reassess my financial situation from the previous and for the current year. I've made LOTS of positive financial changes last year, and I'm excited and looking forward to the upcoming year. Most notably, my new job at NCTC has boosted more than just my checking account. I finally feel like the "grown up" that I am. Finally. I earn enough money that I can provide for my children all on my own and I'm paying off my debt steadily.

(And, just as nice as the financial reassurances, the job has also given me a much needed boost to my confidence. I feel good about what I'm teaching and the contributions I can make toward the college and my students. Last semester was a bit rough but I'm really excited about starting the spring semester, and I'm looking forward to what I can do for my students and the college.)

But, back to my finances... I probably should be more embarrassed about this, but I guess I'm not since I'm putting this out into the universe...

So, here's the cold, hard truth: Raising a family on your own while working on a Ph.D. is pretty much a financial nightmare. It's impossible to raise two small children on a GTA's monthly salary. At least, it's impossible without going into serious credit card and student loan debt. However, I make no appologies: Supplementing my meager GTA income with student loans, credit cards, and additional part-time adjuncting jobs made sure that the boys had health insurance, food to eat (even if it was sometimes just Totino's pizzas and pb & j sandwiches), and clothes on their backs (even if they often came from the resale store, much to my ex-husband's chagrine.)

I've charged on credit cards Alex's dental expenses, much needed groceries, back-to-school supplies, and the occasional winter coat at Old Navy. While I've driven a car with 200,000+ miles for the past 8 years and my boys haven't been able to do extra-curricular activities because we couldn't afford them, I must admit that I owed more than $14,000 in credit card debt in October. (In my defense, $8,000 of that debt was carried over from my divorce, which is another financial story. But, considering that I once owed $18,000 after my divorce, the fact that I paid it down so much is still quite an accomplishment.)

However, thanks to a small financial windfall here, an Earned Income Tax credit there, a whole lotta skimping and saving, and a new job w/ a "grown up" paycheck, I can say that by March 2009, I will have paid off more than $14,000 in credit card debt.

Here's the breakdown:

• As of 10/1/08, total outstanding credit card debt: $14,179
• As of 12/1/08, total outstanding credit card debt: $6,179
• As of 1/21/09, total outstanding credit card debt: $3,436
• As of 3/01/09, total outstanding credit card debt: $0
  

While I will have to start on my student loans next and I did buy a (new to me) used car this fall that I won't have paid off until the summer (fingers crossed), I'm feeling really proud of my accomplishments. Toot, toot.

Back to blogging...

I haven't been on this blog in about a year, but Chris has inspired me to start blogging, again. I've been putting most of my generative discursive abilities into writing on the dissertation or I'd blog on myspace. But, since I've all put abandoned myspace and facebook doesn't seem the "appropriate" place for blogging, I've decided to come back here and start writing/updating again. I do like some of the little stories and tidbits that I've posted on myspace, so I think I'm going to post them again here from time-to-time for achival purposes if anything.

This blog was once private; however, I've decided to open it up since I'm pretty far ahead on the dissertation, and I don't think there's any intellectual property here that needs protecting. And, if anyone did try to pirate any of my ideas, I think they'd probably be in a world of hurt anyways. Suckers...

It's interesting to see how optimistic and over-zealous I was with the dissertation this time last year. I've been writing for a year now on it and my scope has narrowed down significantly, and my writing processes are much slower than I anticipated they would be. However, T is happy with what I've done so far and I'm feeling really optimistic that I can finish everything by August.

So, here I am. Back to blogging. Back in the cyber-universe of online publishing. For what it's worth.

The Crystal Children

I'm working on the section in my dissertation on Idigo/Crystal children, so here's some notes that I've gotten from:

Virtue, Dorren. The Crystal Children: A Guide to the Newest Generation of Psychic and Sensitive Children. Carlsbad, CA: Hay House, Inc., 2003.

(Bar none, one of the most ridiculous books ev-er)

"new 'breed' of kids who are rapidly populating our planet"--"Indigo Children" who will "point to where humanity is headed...and it's in a positive direction!" (1).

Indigo children (ages 7-25) are "highly sensitive and psychic" (Virtue 1). They have "a warrior spirit" (sic) and Indigo children are "here to quash governmental, educational, and legal systems that lack integrity" (Virtue 2). They are often misdiagnosed as ADD or ADHD because they are often misunderstood by adults that value conformity and resist change (Virtue 2). Indigo children's auras or "third eye chakras" are "indigo blue" so that they are clairvoyant and have the ability to see energy, spirits, and visions (Virtue 3).

Ingido Children posses the ability to "sniff out dishonesty" and they recognize instantly when they are lied to, patronized, or manipulated (Virtue 6). They are unable to conform to dysfunctional situations at work, home, and school because of their warrior spirits, which leaves many adults feeling threatened (6).

Crystal Children on the contrary are much more even-tempered, forgiving, and easy going (Virtue 2). They have "beautiful, multicolored, opalescent auras, in paste hues like a quartz crystal's prism effect" (3). Crystal Children were born after 1995, have large, piercing eyes, magnetic personalities, are affectionate, start talking later than other children, are musically orientated, are telepathic, are highly sensetive and empathetic, are connected to animals and nature, possess healing qualities, discuss angels, spirit guides, and past-life memories, are artistic, and explore their surroundings fearlessly with no sense of danger (Virtue 3-4).

Crystal Children existed before 1995; however, they served as scouts to "check out the situation and report home during dreamtime transmissions" (Virtue 5). After 1995, many more Crystal Children were born and "each year's crop of freshly born Crystal Children reveals increasingly profound spiritual abilities" (Virtue 6).

Crystal Children's spiritual abilities are also misunderstood. Since they communicate telepathically ("mind-to-mind") with the world around them, they often do not begin to speak until they are much other than other children, usually around three or four. However, Crystal Children are often "judged by medical and educational professionals to have 'abnormal' speaking patterns. It's no coincidence that as greater numbers of Crystals are being born, the number of diagnoses for autism is at a record high" (Virtue 7-8). Virtue argues that the "diagnostic criteria for autism is quite clear: The autistic person lives in his or her own world and is disconnected from other people. The autistic peson doesn't talk because of an indifference to communicating with others" (Virtue 8).

Virtue believes that Crystal Children are misdiagnosed with autism and demonstrate very different behaviors. Unlike autistic children who are "disconnected" from and indifferent to the world, Crystal Children are "among the most connected, communicative, caring, and cuddly of any generation" (8). Crystal Children are also enormously "philosophical and spiritually gifted" and possess an "unprecedented level of kindness and sensitivity" (Virtue 8). Crystal Children are misdiagnosed and do not "warrant a label of autism. They aren't autistic--they're awe-tistic!" (Virtue 9). Crystal Children are "worthy of awe, not labels of dysfunction" (9). Virtue notes, "Crystal Children are very empathetic, connected, and loving with other people. Truly autistic kids exhibit no sense of connection at all with the outside world" (47). [Throughout Virtue's book, she compares Crystal Children with autistic children and identifies how awful autism is and how disconnected and unemotional autistic children in comparison to Crystal Children.]

Crystal Children possess "an authoritative air about them, as if they're wise adults in little bodies. Even more, they seem like seasoned sages...little sorcerers and high-priestesses" (Virtue 21).

Crystal Children are often diagnosed with autism because they do not communicate in verbal or written discourse until late in childhood (Virtue 32); however, "[d]oes speaking or reading later than expected warrant such a serious diagnosis? Why not call these sensitive children "late-talkers" instead of pathologizing them with psychiatric diagnoses and making them feel ashamed of themselves?" (Virtue 33).

Crystal Children are also diagnosed with autism because they often go into trances and because they have no sense of danger. However, Virtue argues that these Crystal Children are not autistic but are "channeling or receiving information" from forces that we cannot know or perceive. Crystal Children, like autistic children, are very sensitive to external stimuli like loud noise, crowds, temperature, clutter/disorganization, chaos, and artificial ingredients and chemicals (Virtue 56-8).

Yule Tide Cheers

I was telling my friend Brandon on his blog about Bartleby/Brandon the Scribner that I've been feeling very "Kafka-esque." I've been doing fairly well academically and professionally. I'm caught up on all of my grading in my four classes, I think my students actually learned something this semester (well, those who showed up), and I'm moving right along on my dissertation (Chapter 4 is at 30 pages and I should have it completed by the end of the month).

Still, I can't shake this nagging feeling that I'm a complete and total failure. I leave class questioning everything I said. I think all my students hate me (which some of them probably really do). And, well, my dissertation is a whole lotta damn work.Am I just ready for the holidays? Feeling overwhelmed and overweight? Or, am I just going through a funk?

Here's what I do know though:

1. That the lady at Weight Watchers last week who whispered with scorn and judgment that I've "gained a couple pounds" can just suck it.

2. That my student who stormed out during class after receiving his Dismal grade on his dismal major rearch paper can just suck it.

3. That my boyfriend, who's been a royal pain in the ass while trying to get his paper written for Visual Rhetoric, can just suck it.

4. That the frozen cookie dough in my freezer that is tempting me at every juncture can just suck it.

5. That my student in the Spain class who did nothing all semester for her group project and then emailed me a nasty message when I reported her inepititude can just suck it.

6. That the Christmas shoppers who fight over the parking spot 10 feet closer to the mall entrance can just suck it.

7. And, that Long John Silvers--and all it's yummy, greasy, crispy goodness--can just suck it.

Bah humbug.

Update...

I've been working so much that I haven't felt the need to blog. But, just an update:

Proposal approved by committee members in early October. Waiting still for K's approval, but I'm optimistic. So, I'm plowing forward. (He comes back from CA next week so I'll start bugging him again, then.)

Getting the fellowship application off this weekend. Working on the narrative autobiography. Those just suck. I feel way to self-conscious writing it.

Going to start posting on Donna's blog, too, since this one is private.

Working on Chapter 4 (suprahuman) to finish by end of the year.

Then, in the Spring finish Chapters 5 and 6 (inhuman and nonhuman).

Need to buy these books for next Spring semester (ILL'ed them and they're good):
Landmark Essays on Kenneth Burke, Barry Brummett, ed.
Intentions: Negotiated, Contested, and Ignored, Arabella Lyon
The Art of Rhetorical Criticism, Jim Kuypers, ed.
Kenneth Burke and the Scapegoat Process, Chris Allen Carter

Update...

I've been putting together some notes in Word.

I'm reading currently Roxanne's, Dr. Reynolds', Kathleen's, Christa's, and Deb Martin's dissertations. Help to see what's worked successfully in the past to get an idea of what will be expected from me. I've also been reading the few dissertations that are sort of related to my topic online--a couple dissertations on Identification but nothing specifically on Burke, disability, and autism. Nothing on autism in the Humanities. (I need to have a list of those dissertations' topics for the defense, if that should come up.)

I've also been researching articles and sources in the databases. There's some really creepy stuff on the web about Autism and the Bible.

And, I've been reading on qualitative methodologies. Foss's metaphorical criticism. ILL'ed some books on media and methodology, film and methodology.

My proposal will go out to the committee members in the next couple days, and the defense will follow in the next couple weeks--fingers crossed that it will go well.

Back to work...

It's been a good, relaxing summer and now it's back to work.

I have to start getting some of this dissertation done and so that I can graduate. I need to graduate and move on.

Second draft completed

I've completed the second draft of the proposal and I'm feeling pretty good about it. Which scares me a bit.

Oh well. I'm taking a much needed break this weekend. Or, next weekend when I don't have the boys. And, I can drink. A.lot.